electric feel .,

[alexander wyatt.]

Alexander couldn't help but be nervous that he might have just thrown everything that they had finally been slowly building up right out the window. This quite obviously wasn't something that December was one hundred and ten percent comfortable with. But, neither was he. This wasn't something he was used to or something he ever thought he would even be doing. It freaked the shit out of him to think about changing for somebody, but whenever he looked at December he just felt the strength to be able to do it. No matter how much he tried to compare their two situations, they really weren't the same. He was hesitant because of the lifestyle that he had grown so used to, a lifestyle that wasn't going to be the easiest thing int he world to just completely throw out the window. But, December had a far better reason. She didn't want to get hurt. Who did? Being with Alexander was just begging for disaster. He was the king at running around hurting girls and he was fully aware. Time and time again he did things that were wrong, but that didn't mean he didn't realize that what he was doing was wrong because he did. Looking at December, he couldn't even think about hurting her. He had already gotten to see her close up how it was for her when someone had hurt her physically and emotionally and it had broken his heart. The last thing he would ever want was to be the cause for anything of the sort. But it wasn't enough to just say that. When she began to speak to him about the difference he couldn't help but shake his head slightly. At that time, her words just didn't seem to mesh correctly in his head. He didn't open his mouth to say anything but his head shot over to her as she stood up and he too got up immediately. "Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."

His eyes followed her as she walked over to the door and just before she let herself out he added a few more words, "Yes, by the way... I can treat a woman right."

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____________________________________________________________

The next week or so went by the slowest it could have ever gone. Day after day Alexander kept his cell phone nearby, praying to God that he got a call from no one other than December Van Buren. But, at the end of each day he was simply let down over and over again. He didn't call her though, didn't try talking to her online or try talking to her at all. She said she needed time and that's what he was going to give her. Her space to breathe and think about whatever she needed to think about. Thinking was something that Alexander had been doing quite a lot of lately as well. He had spent more time out on his porch with his pack of cigarettes than he ever had and long nights of staring up at the ceiling had become more frequent. In between all of his thinking though, he was busy trying to find ways to let her know that he was still thinking about her. That everything he had said and done hadn't been purely spur of the moment. Alexander had to admit that he was a little bit taken back when he had had a beautiful bouquet of roses delivered to her home nearly two days ago and still hadn't heard a word from her. Little sweet nothings had been splattered around the past week without completely overdoing it, but it was a nice little taste of how he did have the potential to treat her right. He knew how, but those ways had just gone into hibernation for a while. All they needed to do was come right back out.

This Friday evening was being spent lounging around his house. One minute Alexander was up in his bedroom writing and the next minute he was pacing around the kitchen trying to get his mind off of things. It almost seemed like it was all too much to handle. The same questions kept buzzing through his mind. What would happen if she decided that he just wasn't worth her time? Where the hell would their relationship go from there? Would that just be the absolute end of December and Alexander? It was incredible how they had grown so used to this certain friendship and in just a matter of weeks they had grown closer, gotten confused, kissed and now ended up in this entirely new position. Alexander would have never even imagined that he would be pacing in his kitchen thinking about something like this, but yet there he was, one hand on his hip the other one running through the curls on the top of his head. It hadn't even been that long of an amount of time and he was already losing his mind. If December didn't call him up or show up at his doorstep soon he wasn't sure how much longer he would be able to keep himself away from her completely. Things that used to distract him like writing and music weren't working anymore. Nothing could get this to go running away from his mind and he had grown to accept it. Occasionally you could even find him muttering under his breath, trying to figure out different ways that he could explain to her clearly just how he felt. Alexander Wyatt was losing it for this girl. If someone had been watching him every step of the way, they would have thought he was some sort of lost puppy trying to find his way around. It wasn't long before he was putting a cigarette between his lips and shoving his hands in the pocket of his pants looking for a lighter to light it up. This thinking and anxiety didn't help much with that either. Finally, he grasped it in his hand and pulled it out of his pocket as he made his way over to the front door. No way in hell that he was smoking inside the house. Last thing he needed was his mom sniffing it out. But, when he opened the door with the unlit cigarette in between his pale, pink lips it could have nearly fallen right out of his mouth when he noticed the person standing before him.

M U S I C , quiero saber by the gipsy kings.
S T A T U S , complete!
N O T E S , ignore the non-mininess of this. hahaha.
C L O T H I N G , alex is workin' it.

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[december van buren]

It was safe to say that December Van Buren had her work cut out for her. This situation that she'd found herself in was one she'd never thought she would stumble into. Unfortunately, she had and there was no easy way out of it. The day she'd left Alex's house, she'd driven the entire way home without really paying attention to the road. In fact, she'd almost drifted into the wrong lane half a dozen times. This... problem, did she want to call it that? Whatever it was, it was taking up most of her time. And it didn't seem to ever leave her mind. Every night for the next few days, she would simply lie awake, staring at her ceiling, asking herself the same question over and over until she finally fell asleep from exhaustion. Should she take the risk? It was a simple yes or no question, but it felt like so much more. On the one hand, she'd convinced herself that Alex wasn't trying to play games. He'd mean everything he said to her. His voice ran rampant through her thoughts. Everything he'd said was replayed a thousand times over in her mind. She knew the facts. Which were: Alex was a well known player. He'd promised to change for her. And all she had to do was say yes. Three simple facts that were plaguing her existence. It was times like this that she wished she wasn't so careful with her emotions. If she was just a crazy, immature teen, she would have fallen straight down the moment their lips had touched the first time. However, she wasn't that person, so she was forced to agonize herself with these thoughts. And she didn't know how much longer it could go on before she imploded.

Over the days following the trip to Alex's house, he hadn't called her and for that she was thankful. Instead, he'd taken to doing other things. Infinitely more dangerous things. The day the bouquet of flowers came, she'd been nothing short of stunned. Never had she heard of him doing this for any other girl. And they weren't even an item. And it wasn't just the flowers that he'd decided to send her. She had just been lucky that the maids had delivered it all to her instead of letting her father in on the charade. That would be just a little to hard to explain to him without bringing up the fact that a boy had been the one to give them to her. December couldn't deny that she liked the presents. They made her feel special, needed even. Something that no one else had really ever accomplished before. Still, the fear sat inside of her. The fear that something terrible could go wrong, completely shattering her heart. It was so easy for something to happen that would leave her heartbroken. So far, she didn't know if she wanted to take that chance. Young Ember had taken to hiding in her own special places, guitar in hand, much more than she usually did. Music always seemed to help her in every other situation, and why wouldn't it help her now? She needed something to help her straighten her thoughts out as she didn't particularly want to go crazy. At least not over a boy. If she was going to go mentally insane, she would much rather do it over something a little less cliché. Though really, she didn't want to be going crazy at all. Who did?

Today made it a week since she'd last spoken to Alex. She did feel bad about not letting him know what was going on. He was probably angry with her for that, but she just couldn't help it. Something like this was very big and very scary for her. She needed this time. As the sun started to set, she'd decided to take a walk through town, hoping that a change of scenery would do her some good. It didn't take long before she came to the square. Sitting on a bench, her dark eyes watched the people pass. After a few moments, she could feel the cool air begin to get to her and she was about to leave when her gaze caught something. It wasn't anything special, certainly nothing out of the ordinary. Merely an old couple strolling slowly through the area. They were hand in hand and laughing softly to themselves. The scene made her smile softly and that was when it hit her. She was never going to be sure of anything. Maybe Alex would break her heart. Maybe he would use her up and hang her out to dry. Or maybe, just maybe, he would be different. How was she going to know if she didn't try? Was she going to live her life wondering what could have been? No. December wasn't that type of person. She didn't want to be that type of person. Quickly, she stood up from the bench and began to walk quickly through town once again. This time she wasn't headed for her own home. No, she was going straight to the place she should have been almost a week ago.

After a few moments, she broke out into a full run. Ember didn't know why she was in such a hurry. Maybe it was because she'd wasted all of this time thinking. She didn't want to think anymore. She wanted to act. So, here she was, acting. It was probably the most foolish thing she'd done in her life But, quite frankly, she didn't care. She slowed to a walk again when his house came into view. The sun was almost completely gone behind the horizon and her breath come out in clouds of smoke. She breathed deeply, trying to slow the rate of her heart as she stepped up on the porch. What was she going to say to him? That was her main concern at the moment. She just hoped he still wanted to hear it. Just before she got up the nerve to knock, the door opened and there stood the very object of her affection. Looking at him for a moment, her breaths still coming more shallow than normal, she finally spoke. "Okay." She simply said. It was the first word that came to her mind and she hoped it was enough.

STATUS: finished!
TAGGED: alexander wyatt / steff bby!
LISTENING TO: heartache tonight - michael bublé
OUTFIT: bby girl is so fierce
NOTES: it's okay. mine isn't exactly mini either. lol.

[alexander wyatt.]

It was incredible how much humans could seem to put on themselves. How one other person could cause confusion, happiness, sadness, frustration, anger, and occasionally that feeling that you couldn't quite place your finger on. As much as people tried to shrug off things that bothered them or that they would rather not deal with at a certain moment, eventually they would all have to give in to the strength of it all. Much like Alexander. At this point, he had completely given up trying to push anything out of his mind. What was the point? He had already learned that every time he tried to distract himself from everything that was happening between December and him, the feelings and thoughts would only come back stronger than ever later on. It was taking up his time completely. He couldn't concentrate on anything without his mind wandering back to December, curious of what his future held. Part of him almost wished that she would just give him a call and tell him it wasn't going to happen so that he could get a hold of himself and try even harder to stop thinking about it all. But, she hadn't called with a no or a yes, he hadn't seen her face in a week and he was still too busy wondering how the past was going to effect the future, what the future was going to be like, what it would be like right then if the past hadn't happened, how he could keep himself sane in the present. For a guy who was impatient, this wasn't the easiest thing in the world to put up with. Not at all.

The worst part of it all was that Alexander always managed to find other reasons to worry. Just a day after sending the beautiful flowers, he had suddenly thought about how her father could have gotten a hold of them before her. What if something had happened to December and he was lounging around his house doing nothing about it? All of this thinking was just causing him to think even more and then think about things that were just him blowing everything way out of proportion. But, he couldn't help it. He was constantly worried and his mind was always somewhere else. Even for the small amount of time that his mother had seen him the past week she had realized that something was up, a woman who was barely in her sons life at all, a dramatic twist to how things used to be. He had been sitting at the kitchen counter having a bite to eat just two days ago, his eyes glued to the plate so intently that he hadn't even realized she had come home earlier that afternoon. Never had she seen her soon so deep in thought. Alexander wasn't the kind of guy to just lose control of his thoughts like that. When he finally realized she was there he had jumped slightly, further proof that something was up. But as soon she asked if everything was alright he nodded his head simply, planted a kiss on his mother's cheek (who's expression was then replaced by pure disbelief, which he ignored) and without being rude excused himself from the kitchen.

It may not have been much to anyone else, but in that house, it was a start. Just talking to the woman without yelling at her was a good start and so far he had managed a little bit more than that. Alexander was constantly treating women the wrong way and a woman who was part of that in a different manner was his mother. His short-temper was constantly overtaking him whenever he was around her and to that day he still couldn't figure out why he was so cold to her of all people. But, if things were going to change, they hadn't to change in more ways than just one. With all that thinking happening up there, he was glad to see that at least some of it he was using to some sort of advantage. He had spent so much time alone as well, that it was starting to drive him mental. Walks through the park in the late evening were occurring more frequently than they usually did, just so he could get some fresh air and not stink up the house with his cigarettes. But that day, Alexander had settled right on just going out to his front porch and taking a seat there. All he really wanted was some fresh air. He couldn't even begin to explain how sick he was of being cooped up inside of his house, but he was too scared of going out because he didn't know quite how much control he had on himself to not end up at a party. He wasn't about to risk a damn thing. But, as soon as his right hand clasped the doorknob and his eyes fell on December, his heart picked up speed a little bit more. This was it.

At any moment she could open her mouth and tell him that this wasn't going to happen, she could tell him that it was, she could tell him she was still thinking. He stared at her for a few seconds before realizing the cigarette was still in his mouth and he quickly pulled it out and threw the cigarette and lighter in one of his back pockets, his eyes never daring to look away from her. His eyebrows ruffled together slightly in confusion. Maybe it wasn't even confusion, but pure shock at that single word. "O-Okay?"

He repeated, trying more to make sense of the word in his mind than anything else. Right then he was proving to himself that he really hadn't believed she would ever say yes to him. His right hand came up to her cheek like it had the last time they had seen each other. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips as he looked down at her adoringly. "I'm not going to hurt you."

[/color] He finally replied back, voice coming out in nothing but a whisper.

M U S I C , grown up christmas list by michael bublé
S T A T U S , complete!
N O T E S , AWWW.
C L O T H I N G , alex is workin' it.

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[december van buren]

The young woman was starting to wonder if everything she'd put herself through had been really necessary. All of the sleepless nights and the days spent in deep thought. She couldn't even begin to tell you how she'd avoided her father the entire week. Normally she would put all of her effort into making sure she wasn't in the same room as him at the same time. Perhaps she was just lucky that he'd taken a three day business trip before coming home and locking himself in his study for most of the time. Apparently, he had a lot on his plate as well. In any case, it was safe to say that December hadn't exactly been herself over the course of the week. She should have taken that as a sign that this was very different. Even so, she was putting a lot on the line by giving in to Alex and she'd had to be sure it was really what she wanted. When she thought back to the times he'd been rude to her, she'd never really felt offended. Rude was just his default and she wasn't the only one receiving the behavior. However, it was when he was being nice to her that she really noticed something. Ember had never really seen him act that way with anyone else. Granted, it wasn't like she was around him all day every day. However, she'd known him for a while and if he was going to be nice to anyone else, she figured he would have done it already. Then again, how long had it taken him to be nice to her? She still couldn't fathom what made her so different. Why her? Why had he chosen her her to supposedly 'change' for? It wasn't like she was anything special, that much she was certain of.

But it didn't change the fact that he had chosen her. For whatever strange reason he'd found. So, here she was in this little situation. When she thought about it, it was almost like she had all the power. How many times had Alex promised he would call a girl back but never even thought about it again? Maybe now he could see what it was like on the other end, waiting for something that might just not happen. But December wasn't cruel like that. Besides, his feelings weren't the only ones on the line at the moment. She was determined to find an answer to make both of them feel better. Or worse, she really didn't know. She didn't want to make the wrong decision. Believe it or not, she wanted them both to be happy in this situation. So, when she'd finally realized what she should do, she had never been more relieved in her entire life. Of course she was scared. She was still terrified. Anything could happen and she never really would be sure if everything would be okay. Maybe she needed to be a little less cautious. How was she going to live life if she wasn't willing to take risks like this? And she found herself thinking that Alex was worth it. If he really did change, if he really was going to try with her, then he was worth it. Now she could only hope that he was still willing to have her. She'd made him wait for so long without a single word either way. Maybe he'd just gotten tired of waiting of for her. But that was just another risk she was going to have to take.

When she finally reached his house and he opened the door, the overwhelming feeling that she was doing the right thing hit her with a fierce impact. She was even willing to overlook the cigarette in his mouth for the few seconds that he stood in stunned silence. When he repeated her one word sentence, she nodded slowly, hoping he understood what she meant. Of course he did. After all, what had she been taking an entire week to tell him? That was when he moved closer to her, placing his hand on her cheek and sending a flurry of emotions through her. Her heartbeat was suddenly a thousand times faster and she looked up at him with hope in her eyes. He spoke again and her gaze turned slightly concerned. "You'd better not." She whispered back. It was then that she did something she'd never done before. She stepped forward slightly and closed the gap between them with a long awaited kiss, possibly sealing her fate. But at this point in time, she didn't care. All she cared about was that they were both willing to try and make thing work. And that was good enough for her.

STATUS: finished!
TAGGED: alexander wyatt / steff bby!
LISTENING TO: saint veronika - billy talent
OUTFIT: bby girl is so fierce
NOTES: sorry this fails so hardcore compared to yours. lol.

[alexander wyatt.]

Alexander wasn't dumb enough to believe that this wasn't having as big of an effect on December. She was just as far in it as he was and if anything, she was even more confused as he was since she was the one who had to decide what exactly she wanted to do with herself. It didn't matter if she took another month or two to try and decide which path to take or force herself into, there was no way that Alexander would give up. They both knew just how stubborn he was and this situation wasn't going to suddenly have that strong point in his personality disappear. This was the strongest that Alexander had ever felt for anyone and hour after hour, day after day or waiting for any sort of answer from her, he wouldn't stop telling himself that he was going to prove it to her if she would just give him the chance to. He was fully aware that if by some miracle December were to say yes to this entire situation and give him that chance, if he screwed it up there was going to be no second chances. December wasn't going to be the girl who just came back crawling into his arms whenever he fucked up and Alexander very well knew that. It wasn't that he had any plans of doing anything to hurt the girl, but he knew that any momentary lapse of judgment could cause some irreversible harm.

It was frustrating for Alexander to think that everything he had done was keeping him from this one thing that he wanted so much. It made him want to punch himself. It didn't matter if he had completely changed and flipped around, his past wasn't anything that December was going to forget, especially since it was far too hard to believe that he had completely changed. It was hard for him to believe it as well. No matter what he did though, neither one of them was going to be able to forget all of the bullshit he had done and created all of which was keeping him from having her. If he had never let himself take that first drink, if he had never let himself over think everything and fall into the pits he had fallen into, maybe this wouldn't be such a hard decision for the girl. Maybe if he hadn't done all the crap he had done, he would have never even met her. After all, it was his arrogance and cocky attitude that had given him the nerve to walk up to her in the first place. Who knew if they had ever even come across one anothers paths if his sweetheart attitude was still clinging onto him.

As soon as he opened the door and his eyes came over her perfect face, Alexander couldn't have been more positive that he wanted this. December wasn't going to be one of those girls that he just got sick of and ran off doing stupid shit to hurt her. The very thought of that even happening seemed so surreal to him, despite the fact that he had done it to countless other girls in the past. It seemed so corny to say, but December was different. The feeling that he got whenever his eyes even came across her for a second proved that she was. There wasn't even a hint of doubt in his mind that she was. When Alexander repeated the one word that had come out of her mouth and he saw that small nod, he could honestly hardly even believe it. As much as he wanted this, he hadn't expected her to say anything close to yes to him. She had every right to believe that he was going to turn around and do something to hurt her. Every right to truly believe that this could all be part of some well thought out plan just to get something out of her. Anyone who knew Alexander the way that December did would have the right to think something like that. Hell, anyone off the street who had even heard about him had the right to think something like that much the less December. As Alexander gently brought a hand over to her cheek like he had done just two times before, it was calming to be able to feel that she wasn't just a figment of his imagination. If you had told him the night that he first met December that they would eventually become this, he would have laughed right in your face. He didn't let himself fall for anyone in any way, shape or form and yet here he was, the feeling pulsing through his body like nothing he had ever felt before. Just before she closed the gap between them for the first time, two simple but strong words flowed through his lips. "I promise."

He spoke just against her lips before they came together. Right hand staying gently against her cheek, his left made its way to the small of her back. The kiss had been like nothing the boy had ever felt before. It hadn't been filled with lust like the other times he had pressed his lips to anyone else's. It was a thousand times different. A thousand times better.

M U S I C , was i the only one by jordin sparks
S T A T U S , complete!
N O T E S , this is stupid long and so bad. haha. <3
C L O T H I N G , alex is workin' it.

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